Magic Beans (no cow required)
I have a small bag of scarlett runner beans, that I grew in the garden at our house on 26th Street. They must be from two years ago, because the last year we were there I couldn’t find it in me to do any gardening. It was very hard to put the kind of love and intention that tending a garden is into the garden of a household that is falling apart.
But I kept them when we moved, because they are beautiful, and because growing them was beautiful. That garden wasn’t ideal, facing north and shaded by other houses, and it only took a week or two of neglect for it to look, well, neglected. But when I was in a habit of regularly spending a lot of time out there, watering, talking to plants, weeding, watching birds, relocating slugs, nibbling on herbs, things grew pretty well.
Scarlett runner beans, when they grow, are a lovely plant. They send up strong green shoots that then get vine-y, and they grew to the top of the 5 foot high poles I gave them, and then some; I think they’d have grown as tall as anything I could have built for them. The flowers are small, but bright red and vibrant, and then the bean pods are long, and flat, and slightly hairy. You can eat them right off the vine when they’re young and tender, then as they get bigger, you can eat them as green beans, steamed, sauteed…but they’re not as juicy as regular green beans because they’ve been bred for the bean inside. If you keep picking the bigger ones, the plants will keep setting new beans, and you can have a steady supply for a while. Then when the plants start to lose steam, you can leave them on the vine until the plants are starting to die off and the pods are yellowed and totally wilted, and then pick the pods. If you let the beans dry in the pod until the pods are dry and hard (and rattle when you shake ‘em), and then shell the beans, you’re met with a thing of beauty: a purple edged, black centered bean that’s nearly the size of a lima bean. They look great on your altar, feel excellent and smooth in your pocket, and when you cook them, they are not as beautiful to behold, but they’re smooth and tasty.
Eating food I had a hand in growing is one of he things that pleases me on every level…physically, emotionally, spiritually. Growing beans also proves to me that I still, on some level, have some basic non technological skills that are about sustenance and survival. These beans could feed you all year: fresh green beans during the growing season, and then dried beans through the winter.
I wish I could plant these beans myself. In fact, I will; I’ll put some in a large pot that I have, set it up in the micro-yard, and see how it goes. But I will probably only use about 10 of them, and I have 166 (I counted em). Seeds don’t improve with age. I suppose I could eat them, but it’s only about a cup of beans, and I’d rather know someone else is watching them bust out of the earth, send up those energetic tendrils, bust out those butterfly attracting blossoms; and that someone is eating the tender baby green beans and enjoying the bright flowers. I saved these beans specifically to replant them, and I want them to be planted.
The best time to plant these beans in the bay area is May, but April works too. It’s also good to know that these sweethearts are perennial in our region; if you cut them back after they die off in the fall, they’ll resprout the following spring. Oh yes. these beans are magical.
Tarot Reading for 2012
Tarot reading of January 1, 2012, at 1am
This is the story as the cards told it and as I interpreted it:
Now is a time of great abundance, of wealth, though that wealth may not look as we expect it. So much is available to us right now, we need to know what we want, what we need, and we need to know how to ask for it.
But we are challenged by the inclination to pull back, gain some distance, in the name of gaining what seems like greater context, but is in fact a retreat from the real world into the cerebral, the theoretical, separating from our heart and soul connection to what is happening here and now.
What is happening now began in the distant past, when new relationships and organizations were just being formed, with all the optimism and joy that comes with such new beginnings!
And more recently, we have found new inspiration, new energy has been unlocked. Things we thought were impossible are now possible.
We strive now for togetherness, celebration, strength, and joy! If we succeed, this is the moment where we begin to build our new world.
Our immediate future holds slow and steady work, and all the strength that comes from and with that kind of work. We are grounded and rooted, the earth is beneath our feet and supports us, and we will taste of the bounty that accompanies our persistent hope, work, and success! The struggle itself can be it’s own reward: when we use the right means, we taste the ends we are striving for.
Our chances are affected by our capacity to combine different forces and create something new and better, by our ability to engage in praxis; by our ability to come out of the crucible of strife and change tempered and strengthened. Our situation is affected by our ability to co-operate and to compromise in appropriate ways, to balance things.
Our struggle is supported by the magic that people do, the rituals we engage in to set our intentions, be they rituals where candles are burned and spells cast, or be they the forms and patterns of our meetings and actions. The ritual phrases people speak to each other whether they are pagan and arcane, or of political subcultures and communities, they set intention and are a gift to us that we should embrace!
We need mentorship, and leaders who are calm in the face of crisis, who know how to use diplomacy instead of force. We need leaders who reach out to help people, that build more leaders, and who know how to accept different points of view. We need leadership that seeks not to gain power but to build collective power.
And in the end, we will assert ourselves, we will speak up despite the risks, because now is the time to shout out loud! When we are united, we can shift that which we thought was unmovable. Don’t give up! Don’t surrender!
******
The reading was a version of the Celtic Cross, with the Collective Tarot*. I was slightly tipsy when I laid out the cards, and then only had time to jot them down before I was interrupted; therefore the reading and interpreting happened at about 9pm on January 1st. I thought I’d laid a personal reading, but as I looked at each card and it’s meanings, I realized that this reading is not about me and my life, it is about me, and you, and them, and our world. So mote it be.
And the cards were thus:
The Present: 10 of Bones
The Immediate Challenge: 6 of Feathers
The Distant Past: 2 of Bottles
Recent Past: Ace of Keys
Best Outcome: 3 of Bottles
The Immediate Future: 9 of Bones
Factors Affecting the Situation: Temperance
External Influences: Ace of Bones
Hopes and Fears: The Mentor of Bottles
Final Outcome: 7 of Keys
*for those not familiar with the Collective Tarot, Bones=earth/pentacles, Keys=fire/wands, Feathers= air/swords, and Bottles = water/cups.
Hidden Gifts
October 17, 2011
It’s been 11 years, now, since my son Misha was born and died. I haven’t discussed this recently with my daughter, who is nearly nine; I haven’t reminded her that this anniversary was coming up. So it’s not connected that this morning she told me she wishes she had an older brother, who was a year older than her.
Yesterday she was hyper and I was tired, and she said she wished there was someone around who had as much energy as she did. This led to a conversation abut siblings, and she decided she wanted a younger brother or sister, one who was just one year younger than she is. So, when she commented on wishing she had an older brother this morning, I assumed it was connected to yesterday’s conversation. Now, of course, I’m contemplating psychic threads and the things we know without knowing we know them.
Natasha has always known about Misha, we made sure to always talk about him. She must have been 3 or 4 the first time we had a big talk about it and went through the photo album, which has some pictures of him as well as cards and other things that people gave us that helped us through that terrible time. She cried as she looked through it, and it was really clear that she knew what was lost. We talk about Misha off and on, and I always make sure her teachers know about it, because I never want her to have the experience of being told, No, you don’t have an older brother. She does, even though he died before she was born.
Because of course Misha’s brief presence in our lives affected us, his parents, her parents. Who we are and how we parent was of course changed by being Misha’s parents, even though he never lived outside of my body. Jeff and I decided, together, to be parents, and became pregnant intentionally; everything about that pregnancy was intentional.
While I was pregnant with Misha, I became estranged from one of my most intense friendships. She stopped speaking to me, and after a couple of months of that, sent me a letter offering some explanations. One of the long standing dynamics of our relationship was that I was often angry with her, and she was often dishonest with me. In retrospect, I was angry because she was dishonest, and she was probably dishonest to avoid making me angry. Terrible dynamic; and she decided to end it, although she did leave a door open, telling me she would reconnect after she’d worked through her issues in therapy.
We lived in a relatively small community, and being activists and leftists, we were part of a small subset of that small community, yet when Misha died there was no word from her, no card, nothing, which, unsurprisingly given our longstanding dynamic, made me angry.
A decade passed with no contact; and recently I heard from her; she sent a letter through one of our mutual friends. Due to some stuff around reproductive loss in her own life, she was thinking about that time and wanted to apologize for not saying anything to me when Misha died. And she shared something with me that illuminated for me the ways that an awful experience can also bring gifts.
IN THIS LETTER She told me that the reason she broke of our friendship is that she was afraid to see me as a parent; she was afraid of the rage I would bring to parenting. And I understand what she was talking about. She didn’t tell me that at the time, but I wouldn’t have understood it back then anyhow; it would probably have just made me mad. Thinking about it now, I am in some ways amused. No one who knows me as a parent would recognize that assessment of me; I am the parent who gets my kid to do things by threatening to speak to her in a stern voice (I’m not even joking). I work hard to parent from a place of intention, not reflex, and I think I do well at that. I work as a mediator, and I am generally calm and thoughtful about things, and though I am still plenty angry about the messed up state of the world, systemic inequity, and the awful way people treat each other, that anger isn’t always on the surface. People often tell me I am very grounded.
So what changed? I know I am very different than I was at 25; most 40 year olds are; but this shift is bigger than just the shifting of age. Mulling over this letter from this estranged friend, something began to come clear to me.
What changed is that I became the parent of a dead baby. I went through agonizing grief, and in the process was subjected to amazing love and support, from people I was close to and also from people I didn’t know very well. The small community we lived in came together and held us, bringing us food, paying our rent, packing the room at the funeral parlor; we were not alone. On top of that, I had the experience of walking around in the world, knowing no one who looked at me knew what grief I was carrying, realizing that any person I looked at, talked to, interacted with, could also be carrying a similar grief and I wouldn’t know it. Through my grieving process, a crack in my hard armor of anger broke open, and that crack was called compassion. Where I once held people to very high standards and considered those who didn’t meet them the “them” to my “us,” I started to feel like every person who could suffer a grief like this was a person who I could connect with, a person I could find common ground with. Anyone who loves can suffer this loss, and almost everyone loves, even people who do terrible harm in the world.
I didn’t become someone who looks at the world with rose colored lenses, or believes all the harms a person does are excused by the pain they may have suffered; I believe in accountability. But accountability and compassion go well together.
So, on this 11th anniversary of the birth and death of my son, I contemplate the nature of loss and grief, and what shapes us and changes us, and how we find gifts in unexpected places. Recognizing this shift and knowing that I am a better person for it does not make up for the loss of my son; nothing does and nothing could, but it is still a gift.
Vermont stands up to ICE and S-COM (and blows my mind in the process)
There are so many things about this that strike me.
Migrant Workers Detained, Protesters Arrested
First of all, look at the lead:
“An immigration bust by Vermont State Police on Tuesday, and the subsequent arrest of protesters, is sending shock waves around the state.”
Where I live now, in California’s San Francisco Bay Area, migrant workers getting detained sends outrage through certain communities (like im/migrant communities, ally communities, communities that care about civil liberties and justice) but shock waves? Not only are few people shocked, there’s a chunk of the population that *approves*.
then there’s this:
“…farm workers …were racially profiled …a violation of the Vermont State Police’s bias-free policing policy…”
Wait, what? The Vermont State Police have a bias free policing policy?
Yes, why yes they do!(clicking this link opens a PDF)
Well, that’s fantastic.
But wait. What is this?
Later Tuesday, Gov. Peter Shumlin ordered an investigation into the traffic stop. “The Governor is concerned by accounts of the incident and ordered an immediate internal investigation to determine the facts of what happened and if Vermont State Police bias-free policies were followed,” a statement from the governor’s office read. “In addition, he has instructed his legal counsel to lead a review of State Police policies relating to undocumented workers in the state with an eye toward ensuring bias-free policing conduct is observed in all settings.”
I honestly don’t quite know what to make of a Governor criticizing the police for racial profiling or for cooperating with ICE; I don’t know how to understand an elected official above the level of city council who doesn’t automatically defend and flatter the police.
I also really don’t know what to make of the director of the State Police doing anything other than belligerently defending the right of his officers to do whatever they did. I can’t even find any fear mongering in his statement:
“An internal investigation has been order[sic], as well as a review of policies relating to incidents involving undocumented workers in the state to ensure bias-free policing conduct in all settings. The Vermont State Police take seriously the necessity of ensuring fair and humane treatment of all people living and working in Vermont, regardless of their race, ethnicity, immigration status, or other personal criteria.”
Reading this was a bit shocking. It showed me that in spite of being part of a community that is committed to immigrant justice, I’m still immersed in a overarching culture (hegemony!) that is anti-immigrant and that routinely, un-apologetically dehumanizes people.
It’s also odd for me to think of immigration as an issue in Vermont; I grew up there, though I’ve lived in California since the 90′s, and I don’t recall there being very much of an immigrant population. I know that has shifted, and last year, visiting my mom, I read a newspaper article about migrant workers on the local dairy farms in the Northeast Kingdom, but it’s a reminder of how long I’ve been gone and how much things have shifted these past two decades.
So, after reading the article, I watched the videos at the end, and was struck by a whole other set of surprises.
In the first video, we see one of the detained people being led to an SUV by one border cop, while one, two, and ultimately about 6 people crowd around hugging the person being detained and asking questions. The border cop doesn’t push, shove, yell, put his hand on a weapon, tase anyone, crack skulls, or call in backup, though other cops are nearby. He doesn’t shout at or threaten the person with the camera, either.
It’s almost as though…he’s not afraid of them, and they’re not afraid of him. It’s definitely a confrontation going on, but so far, it’s not scary and it doesn’t feel dangerous for the solidarity folks.
Let me tell you, in San Francisco, that first person who approached the detained person would be at a minimum shouted at and threatened, and 6 activists crowding around one cop would *definitely* lead to violence. When I used to do pre-arrest trainings, I would even tell people not to crowd up on cops (unless you had a plan/reason to do so) because they call that lynching (it’s a legal term/charge which doesn’t have exactly the same meaning as the lynching African Americans, and some others, have been victim to through US history, but it’s the same root meaning) and cops freak out about it. Seeing that was surprising.
Then, the next video, wow. I’ve never seen such a calm, peaceful blockade. On both sides. Or, wait, I should say, I have, but they’ve been more of the ceremonial, symbolic, planned type. This was a direct action, an emergency response, and yet the activists are calm, grounded, effective. And when the SUV makes a move, and the people chase after it and block it again, still no panic or freak out from the cops. This is happening at a Vermont State Police barracks, but no state troopers come to help the border patrol for at least 5 minutes.
As the third video shows, when the State Troopers finally come to help, only three of them walk up. Where’s the overwhelming force I’m so accustomed to?? When the arrests happen, the police do get violent, and threats are made, but there still is this sense of, nobody’s going to escalate this situation much.
Now, I don’t know anything about the state of policing in Vermont, I have no idea if this is typical or not, and regardless of everything else, the State Police should not be profiling people or turning people over to the Border Patrol. (The Border Patrol shouldn’t even exist: Deporten a La Migra!) But reading this article and watching the videos was revelatory for me.
The first revelation is how incredible it is to me to see elected officials speak critically about immigration busts and question the police instead of immediately defending the police.
Second, there’s a lot going on in Vermont that wasn’t happening when I lived there, and there are some really competent, skilled activists and organizers there who can respond rapidly in a calm, peaceful but resolute way and who are committed to solidarity.
And the third revelation, the one that makes me wish I could move back to Vermont, is that being so shocked by the Governor’s response, and so surprised by the tone of the interactions with the cops made me realize that I have become accustomed to a really heavy level of policing, and that police violence has been normalized for me, and I’ve even on some level gotten used to the dehumanizing anti-immigrant, anti-criminal rhetoric that permeates the national political discourse and is tangible on the ground in California.
People roll their eyes when they hear people talk about a police state, like it’s just too dramatic or rhetorical. As a housed white person with citizenship who generally escapes official notice I am rarely subjected to police interference or violence (with the exception of demos and protests), but for many communities, particularly immigrant communities and communities of color, the level of policing, imprisonment, and official violence far surpasses anything I’ve experienced; and the impact on whole communities is intense, severe, and persistent. In comparison to that, I don’t often think of myself as being heavily impacted by the police state. Seeing how things look in Vermont has really shone a light on how high the background noise has gotten, and it frightens me to see how skewed my perception of normal is.
So, you go, Vermont. I am so impressed, and though I claim San Francisco as my home now, I’m also very proud to be a Vermonter.
also: hey! Vermont has NOT implemented S-COM. That is freaking great.
Finally, before I got into thinking about all the ways this shows how immersed I am in a migrant hating, police state culture, my first thought was: follow the money. If VT State Police are making immigration busts, perhaps there are some federal funds or other resources that they might get access to if they can demonstrate a “need,” and perhaps some in the Vermont State Police want access to those goodies. I hope folks are watching for that kind of thing; knowing Vermont, they are.
ch-ch-ch-changes
Someone else’s comments on changes in their own life led me to this quick meditation on David Bowie.
Much has changed in my own life in the past 6 months; in January of this year I was living in the house I’d been in for about 8 years, with the collective I’d been a part of for over a decade, with comrades I’d lived with since before my child was born. Now I am living in an apartment with just my partner and child (and cats of course). Massive changes happened between then and now, some of it logistical, some of it relational, and some of it internal…but I resisted them all.
Change is hard!
Change is inevitable.
Now look at this guy here:
Bowie is the master of the repellently sexy, especially in this phase of his life.
But take a look at him in even earlier days:
and then there’s this:
As a young child, I loved the song “Space Oddity.” I had no idea what David Bowie looked like or really who he even was at that point.
(I mostly missed this phase)
By the time I saw him live, on the Glass Spider tour, he’d changed quite a bit…
And not only has he changed his persona multiple times over the years, and his look and musical styles, he’s changed his name and even eventually straightened his teeth. He’s been in movies, written music for video games…for goddess’ sake, the guy started out as a mime. a MIME.
So, my point:
Change is hard. Sometimes it’s our choice, other times it’s dropped on us like a ton of bricks, and it comes whether we want it to or not. It comes when we resist with all our might, and even when we actively seek it, sometimes it shows up differently than what we asked for.
But when the changes are overwhelming and hard, and it feels like too much, think about David Bowie who has not stopped changing ever, and he’s into his 60′s and still amazing. Change keeps things moving, and motion is good.
May all the changes in my life and yours, sought for or unexpected, welcome or resisted, easy or challenging, help us to be engaged with life, in love with life, and in positive motion.
…and speaking of change, here’s a fun version of a song about the human race changing into a new breed of aliens.
and I can’t post a bunch of Bowie videos without including this one
****
A few other meditations on change, but not about Bowie:
As Octavia Butler‘s character’s would say, God is Change)
She changes everything she touches and
everything she touches, changes
She changes everything she touches and
everything she touches, changes
Change is, touch is; touch is, change is.
Change us, touch us; touch us, change us.
We are changers;
everything we touch can change.
We are changers;
everything we touch can change.
- Starhawk
Link round up about the killing of bin Laden
I got the news of the death of Osama bin Laden during a farewell dinner for one of the more important people in my life, so after a round of cynical comments from the anti-imperialist, anti-war group of us, we got back to the matter at hand, celebrating a dear friend, and I forgot all about it until I was offered an SF Examiner this morning, with a headline that said something like “the butcher of 911 is dead”
I don’t have a whole lot to say, but other people do and they say it well, so here’s some links. this is just a gathering of what my friends and community have put up on facebook so far today; I am blessed to be part of such a thoughtful and thinking community.
Overview from Al Jazeera English
A bit on the organizations/structures behind the actual killing:
The Secret Team that Killed bin Laden
What else do these teams and groups do? What will “DevGru” do next, I wonder?
The always great Jeremy Scahill, with great framing by Amy Goodman on Democracy Now: (video) the rest of the show is also very good.
A thoughtful look on the scene in Washington DC last night:
Outside the White House
Way to go, sports fans! oh…wait…
Dave Zirin is a sports writer with a radical analysis; I’m not a sports fan but I love his work, and he has a good take on this event through the eyes of a sports fan:
Some have wondered if now that bin Laden is dead, life will “go back to normal.” But as we saw in Philly last night, this is the new normal and will continue to be so, until every last troop is home
Kai Wright at Colorlines adds some perspective:
the Ability to Kill Osama bin Laden Does Not Make America Great
More context from Chris Hedges at Truth out
Glenn Greenwald:
Does hunting down Osama bin Laden and putting bullets in his skull really “remind us that we can do whatever we set our mind to”? Is that really “the story of our history”? That seems to set the bar rather low in terms of national achievement and character.
From Suheir Hammad
affirm life. your life. our life. all life.
not stand with bloody handed men.
not sit with death breath women.
not lay with false love.
not wave murder flag.
sow peace sew peace so peace will come.
Robert Fisk: “Osama bin Laden’s Death is pretty irrelevant”
Osama is Dead. Bring the Troops Home.
Finally, I won’t repost it, but I saw a link to a round up of ridiculous facebook posts that indicated that there’s a good chunk of folks who don’t know who Osama bin Laden is, a good bunch of folks using his death as an excuse to use racial slurs and engage in islamophobic racism and bigotry, and there’s a bunch of folks who think Obama should be next and all glory for this should go to George W. Bush. If I had the stomache for it, i suspect I’d find a lot of that on the tea party style blogs and websites; I imagine this is a difficult moment for them, being stretched between the desire to exult at the violent death of a bogeyman, and the desire to repudiate anything Obama does.
Sex Talk With Children
On a radical parenting list serve I’m on, someone recently asked, how do you deal with it when kids mimic adult sexual behavior, ie, “playing doctor?”
I thought I’d repost some of my response here.
I’ve been very intentional about how I’ve approached sexuality and bodily autonomy with my kid since before she was old enough to grasp some of it. One of the many reasons I think this is important is that addressing a particular incident is a lot more difficult if it’s not something you’ve ever addressed before. But it’s never too late to start, and perhaps a “playing doctor” incident is a good reminder that it’s good to have clarity about sexuality and bodily integrity at an early age.
Here’s the basics of my approach:
1) sex talk is always casual and calm. I don’t make jokes about it, but I don’t make it heavy either. It’s matter of fact, always, and every question my kid has is received and answered calmly. No question is taboo, no information is taboo. We also make sure that she is aware of the proper names for body parts and we say them casually and matter of factly. We have had frank discussions about why kids at school refer to a penis as a “hot dog.” (“some people are uncomfortable with the real names of body parts and so they give them funny names, but it’s always important to know the actual names and there’s nothing wrong with the actual names.”)
2) I prioritize bodily autonomy; as in, my kid’s body is HERS and if I am overruling her about something to do with her body, I better have a good reason (such as, “I know you don’t want to wash out that cut because it hurts, but if we don’t wash it, it will get infected, and this is how you take care of your body”). An example of this is that she has never been forced to give hugs to anyone including family, and when she says stop during tickling or rough housing, we stop immediately. This creates a grounding in the idea that she is the one who decides what happens with her body, and her word on it should be respected.
3) Connected to that, and more specific to sex, is that she has been told repeatedly that her body is hers, and she can touch it however she wants, in private, but her personal body and private areas, such as her vulva and her butt, etc, are for her only to touch, not other people, and if other people touch or ask to touch her personal body, then she should let me know. Again, that is shared casually and calmly. And I include other kids in that. I am aware some folks believe that mutual sex play between children is ok. I am of the opinion that it’s possible for it to be ok, but it’s as possible for it to be harmful, while it’s absence will do no harm. I also think that when it comes up, it should be dealt with casually and calmly. It came up in my kid’s preschool, and there was no freaking out; it was used as a teaching moment, as in, oh, did you guys know, it’s not appropriate to be showing each other your penis, etc., and here’s some books and information if you’re curious. No shaming.
4) I provide good books, like “It’s So Amazing” which covers body parts, how babies are made (and includes non traditional means of conception and a smattering of non traditional relationships), sexual function, body diversity, and all kinds of stuff, and “It’s Perfectly Normal,” which is about puberty. I think it’s good to provide the books before you feel like they’re needed.
5) I think the most important thing might be getting right with ourselves as parents about this stuff. As in, knowing what we think is ok and what we think isn’t; knowing where our triggers are and understanding if they’re reasonable or not. Reading Gavin Debecker’s Books The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift (Protecting the Gift is specifically for parents) is a good way to start that process of figuring out how to interpret our danger signs. For example, I have lots of triggers about adult men’s interest in kids they aren’t connected to and I have made sure to figure out what are just triggers that are not applicable to every situation, and what are bona fide red flags. It’s also good to think about how we were raised to think about sex and sexuality so that we don’t unconsciously pass on taboos, hang ups, and attitudes that we might not actually want to pass on. Similarly, if we ourselves are survivors of child sexual assault or any sort of sexual assault, it’s important to sort out how that impacts our attitudes and be thoughtful about how it impacts what we teach our kids, intentionally and unintentionally.
6) I talk about sex frankly (although with very limited detail) and I frame it as something adults do with each other. Again, I know some people feel like sex between kids and young teens is ok; i am not one of them; I see no way that it will harm my child to consider sex as something adults do, so long as that doesn’t mean there’s no information beyond that. She has access to a ton of information so that whenever she decides she’s adult enough to go there, she will understand how to keep herself as safe as possible, and to understand the difference between a healthy sexual encounter and an unhealthy one (something it took me two decades to learn).
7) Finally, overall I try to maintain an environment where my kid knows she can ask me any question about any topic and not be shamed or treated as though she, or her question, is stupid, and I am open that I don’t always know. This applies to everything, not just sex related questions. And not only can she ask me anything, she can tell me anything and I won’t freak out. My hope is that this open safe environment will carry through adolescence, so that when she starts to grapple with these things more concretely and personally, she will feel safe bringing me her questions, fears, and secrets.
How do you approach these topics with your child(ren)?
Ground. Center. Focus. and Don’t Panic!
I was working on a post about Wisconsin and the libertarian take over of the midwest, but I, like so many others, got distracted by the events in Japan. How absolutely devastating.
I’m not going to link to videos and pictures of the damage; those are easy to find.
As devastating as the effects of the earthquake and tsunami are, the preparedness and reaction fo teh Japanese people and government is really amazing. Blogger Patrick McKenzie, who lives and works in japan, offers a perspective that is reassuring and deeply disturbing.
Reassuring:
Millions of people are alive right now because the system worked and the system worked and the system worked.
and, presumably, if the power plants meltdown/blow up, the systems will continue to work and ameliorate the inevitable damage.
Deeply disturbing: We have no such approach, none of the systems he references, none of the training. But we could just as easily suffer a huge earthquake and/or a tsunami (I live on the Californian Coast). Our government is contemplating cutting tsunami warning systems.
It’s really easy tog et caught up in a spiral of fear and panic, especially when we watch terrifying images over and over, and especially when we are bombarded with information, some of it reliable and some of it not.
This facebook post by a woman in Tokyo at the moment is really spot on.
I have been afraid—terrified, really—for 48 hours.
People, I am here to say, that is long enough.
Here is where my fear got me: my head aches. My shoulders ache. My jaw aches, from clenching it. My breath is short and shallow. My heart aches at every sad photograph, and my nervous system is at the mercy of every authoritarian voice broadcasting worry.
In that condition, I am no more useful to the world, my family, or myself than a very anxious marmoset.
So here is how I am changing my frequency. If this stuff is working for me today, it will work for you too—whether you are afraid about your finances, your future, your failing left tail light, or your embarrassing flail in yesterday’s meeting. (follow the link to see her suggestions)
I actually took this advice yesterday, and faced my fear: I told my boss I’d missed a deadline…I missed it last week but was afraid to say so. I know that’s not the sort of thing this post is meant to address, but ti worked and was a good reminder that often our fears get bigger when we don’t address them (the entirety of my consequences was a disappointed sigh and a reminder that some deadlines just can’t be missed).
As we all watch and wait to see what the outcome will be for Japan’s nuclear power plants, many of us on the west coast are wondering and worrying. For those of us who routinely look to alternative media for information, and who a re skeptical about pretty much all information coming from governmental sources, this is a hard time to figure out what’s real and what’s not. I have seen links that indicate that we are completely screwed if the power plants blow, that the radioactive plume will come right to California’s coast, and others that indicate that most of the radiation will stay within a couple hundred miles of the plants. Several people I know have posted thoughts about how to protect ourselves nutritionally from radioactivity, so here’s some tips:
anti-radiation soup, and some food suggestions.
YOUR FRIENDS in TIMES OF NEED:
1. SEAWEED- eat nori, put wakame, kombu, and hijiki in your soups and stews. The iodine in kelp helps draw out the radiation and protect your thyroid from radioactive uptake.
2. MISO- Miso is amazing medicine- containing live cultures, minerals, amino acids, and protein. I’d recommend making a big pot this week, having a bowl everyday and feeding it to all your friends. Recipe follows…
3. MUSHROOMS- strengthen your immune system with some shitake mushrooms in your soup!
4. Lots of vegetables, especially DAIKON radishes and BURDOCK root- stick them in your soup too or make a shredded salad. Daikon has been used for drawing radiation, post nuclear fall out- it’s cooling and detoxifying.
5. BATHS in epsom salt and baking soda
6. DRINK lots of WATER7. IMMUNE support- do the things you know boost your immune system: sleep well, eat garlic and Vitamin C rich foods, laugh, rest, and limit your sugar intake.
8. LOVE: send prayers, love, healing thoughts for those who need it most. Instead of freaking out or shutting down, let your anger, fear, and grief flow- it’s what makes us human and feel connected to what’s going on in the world right now. Crying is a potent way to detox, friends.
9. HERBS: if you want to get herbal, some great allies are nettle tea, cilantro (eat a lot or take the tincture- it helps draw heavy metals out ), and milk thistle (helps your liver process toxins). Also Yarrow Environmental Essence from FES is a beautiful formula to support the body in environmental disasters.
what’s great is that all of these things are generally good for you anyhow, so giving yourself a bit of nutritional support right now is a good step if you are worried and feel the need to do something.
Of course, the other harsh reality is that we have nuclear power plants right here on the Californian Coast. and, you know, we have earthquakes here!
But a perpetual state of fear won’t actually impact wether or not an 8.1 earthquake and subsequent tsunami is in our future or not. In fact, nothing we do will make that more or less likely. But what we could do is we could learn lessons from the devastation in Japan.
first lesson: be prepared on a collective level. In order to come anywhere near the level of preparedness they have in Japan a completely different approach to what we currently have is required. The current trajectory in the US is the realization of the neo-liberal wet dream of destroying all social services and bending the government completely to the will of the corporations; this is happening in Wisconsin, this is happening in Michigan, it is happening everywhere that the Tea Party has a hold, and there’s no significant resistance to them; the democrats are nearly as enamored of corporate rule as the right wing fringes are. But a sober look at how prepared, or not, we are here is one of many counter arguments that can be made to this libertarian nightmare unfolding. We actually need a level of preparedness and planning that goes beyond the individual level. The American fetishization of “take care of me and mine and screw everyone else” is going to mean we are all screwed in the face of any catastrophe. I believe it’s changeable, but it’s a big change that’s needed.
May we find the will to do it, and the strategies and organization to make it so.
second lesson: nuclear power is not worth the risk. Currently the best case scenario is that damage is limited at the plants in Japan, that there is no melt down and no explosions, and no additional radiation is leaked. The sad thing is that if they are able to successfully contain the damage, that will likely be used to justify nuclear power. My hope is that the scare we are all having right now will not be forgotten when they successfully contain this situation, and that more and more people will realize that the move toward nuclear is not a sustainable, nor a sane, response to a dwindling supply of fossil fuels.
also this: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/mar/15/nuclearpower-japan
In the 80′s, hundred of thousands of people mobilized against nuclear power. I came of age politically within Food Not Bombs, an organization that grew out of the clamshell alliance. My spiritual tradition also grew out of that movement. My mother fought against nuclear waste dumps when I was a teenager. Although I personally was never a part of that movement, it’s where my roots are. I am not sure of all the reasons that that movement dwindled, but it’s clearly time for it to re-emerge.
Meanwhile, I am working to regularly breath, to ground, center and focus. I will eat miso and seaweed on a daily basis; my mom always tells me to anyway, so why not, and I will feed it to my child. I will pay attention and see if there are things I can do to help the people of Japan, while working to learn the lessons this offers. and I wills trive to be a global citizen, and not let my own fear of uncertain futures eclipse my care and compassion for people whoa re suffering real hurts right now.
so…Mubarak is not stepping down (yet). But I still feel lucky to be alive to see what the people of Egypt are doing. Hope is still strong and being backed up by action.
Joy and Rage
This morning, just before I left the house, I saw an email to a rad-left list serve I am on, saying that Mubarak is stepping down. Tears flowed as I drove my child to school, tears of hope, Let it be True! The poster was someone who I trust, and so I felt hope rising in my chest; and when I thought of what it must be like to be in Tahrir Square right now, as that news spreads, and the people feel their power, and know that they have just changed the world, I felt a fierce joy.
I feel lucky to be alive, to see this moment. Right when I was finding it harder to be hopeful and hold that vision of a better world being possible, the people of Egypt make it real. May their momentum keep carrying them forward, and may their revolution be complete and continue to spread, through all levels of Egyptian society and government, throughout the region, and across the world.
Then listening to Democracy Now, after hearing some seriously inspiring news about the workers of Egypt laying down their tools in the Suez, the news gets bleak again with the economic outlook in the US and I hear this:
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner: “The job of government is to create the conditions for businesses to expand and to thrive. And what we need to do in Washington is make sure we’re creating a better environment for businesses to act with a little more confidence about the future.”
And I felt so enraged.
It’s hard to even articulate everything that went through my head. And, since I had already dropped off the kid, yes, I did some loud cussing, too. As an anarchist, I generally don’t think a government is required; as the people in Tahrir Square are showing us right now, people can self organize. But if there is going to be a government, it ought to be preoccupied with protecting the rights of those who are often exploited or oppressed, and making and holding space for people to be able to live decent lives. Government, if there is to be one, should stand in opposition to business interests, and be committed to the social and economic welfare of the people. All the people. (except, of course, “corporate people”)
Now I know that’s not how things are, and that when there have been governments charged with a mission like that they’ve quickly gone authoritarian which begs the question of if it is possible for a centralized government to truly prioritize the needs of the least powerful. But to come right out and assert that the point of the government is to create a better business environment? Shame on them. And shame on us for accepting this.
